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WHAT SCIENTOLOGISTS BELIEVE - BY MARTY RATHBUN
1. Planet Earth is a prison. The vast majority of human beings – and billions of invisible other beings – are its inmates.

2. Xenu is the name of scientology’s Satan who established Earth as a prison and transported billions of beings to serve as its inmates.

3. Our continued imprisonment is assured by ‘psychs.’ ‘Psychs’ are defined as psychiatrists, psychologists, psycho-therapists, priests, ministers, and anyone else practicing in the field of the mind and spirit.  Psychs were sent here from a planet called ‘Farsec.’    They are a special breed of being created and invested with the sole purpose of keeping humankind mentally imprisoned.

4. Ron Hubbard is the first to discover the truth of 1 through 3 above, and the only one to have devised a means of escaping the prison planet.l. ron hubbard headshot ascot

5. Navigation through the only hole in the wall consists of closely emulating Hubbard and behaving as he did when he lived.

6. Enemies, including psychs as well as anyone expressing any doubt or reservation about these beliefs, must be destroyed by any means necessary by scientologists. Such means include lying, suing, cheating, harassing, intimidating, blackmailing, smearing and by physical violence.

7. Scientology ‘technology’ consists of a sophisticated mix of pop psychology and hypnotism carefully designed and administered so as to lead people to wholeheartedly accept and live according to these beliefs.

8. When a scientologist has expended all of his best efforts in the vain pursuit of these beliefs he is expected to ‘discard’ his body so that he may continue to pursue them without such a physical ‘impediment’.

Committing suicide in Step 8 is sometimes optional.


Scientology is an organization which tries to get the most money and free labor out of people as possible.   It was created by sci fi writer L. Ron Hubbard as a multi-level marketing scheme. Eventually, like the Catholic Church, it just decided to buy real estate.

SCIENTOLOGY IN SIXTY SECONDS
If there is a better sixty second description of Scientology I haven't heard it. This woman tells a funny story about her father and cult founder L. Ron Hubbard who was finding his religion in 1958. She volunteered this story when she saw me carrying a protest sign while on the way to ruining Christmas.

WHAT THEY BELIEVE
The beliefs of Scientologists are compared to their actions by TheThinkingAtheist in another episode of "You Gotta Be Sh#!tin' me!"

SAY "HEBBO!" TO TARVUISM CULT!
The beliefs of Scientologists are satired by British comedians Peter Serafinowicz and Robert Popper invented for the television show Look Around You that parodied instructional religious videos such as those of Scientologists and Christians. For more go to Tarvu.com ...


NEUROTOLOGY - RELIGION AND SCIENCE INTERTWINED - ON SNL
The Church of Scientology gets hilariously spoofed by some SNL writers who saw the documentary "Going Clear" on HBO. This big budget parody is really more of a tribute album since Scientology is so stupid that it parodies itself. The SNL team put a lot of time into writing and recording music, coming up with 1980's style wigs and clothes, and generally conforming to the truth. Note how not a lot of people are laughing out loud during the showing, probably because they are too busy watching! However, the roar of approval from the audience at the end shows just how well the skit went over.


SCIENTOLOGY: IT'S ALL JUST A GAME!