Fellow Scientology protester Nasty Nathanial and I had a great time at Cathy Schenkelberg's one woman show "Squeeze My Cans"  in Hollywood @Broadwater @SMB/Vine now playing thru June 26th @Hollywood Fringefest.  Her perf was very "at cause" with her "overts and withholds" delivering a solid seventy minute show for just $20!
 
Scientology journalist Tony Ortega is coming to see one of those shows soon. Since Nasty Nathanial and I can't stand him we decided to come to see Cathy's show early to avoid being crushed under the weight of his unbearable, obscenity spouting ego.  
What is great about Schenkelberg's work as a journalist is she is making a public admission about personal failure.  So I will make one too. 
 
GAY DISEASED SEX WARNING - TMI?
 
The building we were in is called "The Broadwater." Ironically it was once a Gay sex club called "The Vortex." A moral vortex so close to Gold's Gym Hollywood, the Gayest gym on the West Coast outside of West Hwd, that the muscle men would line up against the wall on weekends. Their pecs were all lined up and looked like bowling bowls in a bowling alley's ball holders.  Talk about the Gay version of squeeze my cans! Badoom boom.  
The Vortex was on-paper an "erotic art gallery" not a Gay Sex Orgy location. That way they could legally refuse admission to ugly guys, men in suits, men with perfume, etc. Yuk! You would never guess that within these now rehabilitated playhouse/barroom walls I had fooled around many times circa 1996-2002. I think it was probably here that I had an anal sex episode with a Latino that first infected me with the virus that causes HIV!
Eventually the venue's proximity to the Vine Street Elementary School spelled it's legal doom. I assume somebody in government stopped getting paid off or put their foot down. Bummer!  They were not even open at the same time! Couldn't the sex club just give every kid at the school a free membership at Gold's Gym??? That would help raise the next generation of bisexual guys who would show up at Vortex and have big muscles. Sigh.
 
SHOW REVIEW
 
I was afraid of a “one person show” tale of woe from a voice over actress. I was afraid it would be another boring self absorbed thing I have sat through that sexy actors put on. This is a real problem in Hollywood as the Onion comedy website massively made fun of: theonion.com/study-family-history-of-alcoholism-raises-risk-of-one-man-shows 
 
A desire to be the center of attention paired with a delusional belief in one’s talent remain the leading causes of one-man shows.  - THE ONION
 
Despite living here since 1996 I have never had a good time in LA Live Theater. I saw a play at the Geffen for free starring actor James Van Deer Beak that was so bad we walked out. Except for Evita/Book of Mormon @ the Pantages but those are, of course, blockbusters. Expensive tickets a starving artist like myself can barely afford so why bother? I was concerned this would be a self-absorbed-a-thon with some Scientology thrown in.  For the first few minutes it was about her family and not Scientology and I was concerned. But that ended up just setting the scene and 92% of the show was about Scientology. Her hyperactive delivery and playing of various roles was quite impressive. And, like Evita, she did voice over work :)
 
I was also impressed by the many audio and lighting cues throughout the show. Glad she used video also. Floating needle video very good reminder of Sci jargon/brainwashing for newbie protesters like Nasty Nathanial.  Reinforced my knowledge of their auditing (talk therapy) techniques so that I can more effectively "enturbulate" cultists in the future.  The video cues also included an updating of the money she spent on the cult. It was VERY EFFECTIVE to see that total go up endlessly in the show without calling attention to itself. I would have added a cash register sound effect KA CHING if it were a five minute video. But I realize now that, in a 75 minute show, this would have been editorial overkill/ineffective. I also correctly predicted that, when she passed her first hundred grand, she would hit about a million dollars before financially flying out of control at the end. 
 
She has been re-compensated for about only $100 grand since she left she told me after her perf.
 
Even people who don't speak Scientologese will enjoy what is, in one way, a standard Scientology snooker's 'em silly story. At least nobody died of unnatural causes (spoiler ... people die). Yet in another way it is touching and well acted religious penance.  It must be very painful to get on up a stage endlessly down here in the Hotel CA and say "I messed up" for a living.  Plus she is being watched by a James Bond Villain who owns Hwd Blvd. just a few blocks away and wants to censor her mafia style.  
 
So it is great to see her get paid to conduct her own public exorcism of painful confessions. Just like it is painful for me to publicly confess that I probably got infected with the virus which causes AIDS in the very same building.
 
Protesting Scientology made my heart grow three times, just like what happened to Dr. Seuss's "The Grinch." I'm sure this penance is growing her Thetan. Growing her Thetan as a person protesting Scientology. Because she is currently living in a vehicle, travelling the country on a religious pilgrimage. She is putting out a great roadshow and using social media in ways cult founder L. Ron Hubbard would never have imagined. Personal growth in the moment. 
 
Isn't that what Scientology itself claims to do for you?
 
One light on the right stage flickered sometimes as some of the green LED’s in it did not work reliably and made things flickering magenta but that is not her fault it is  https://www.hollywoodfringe.org .  Also, it just added to the "going crazy" vibe and she acknowledged the hardware failure on the fly.  I think the “going insane” sequence might work better if she literally said she was being driven insane.  But that is nit picking.  
 
Later we went to the wonderful bar on the property and I got drunker on absinthe and a Long Island Iced Tea. At that point I told my friend Nasty Nathanial that the bar is the thing that probably pays for all of this theater. That is because we were buying wonderful liquor in a delightful setting from a talented male barkeep at huge markup!
 
I told the bartender about the history of the place being a Gay sex club and he responded "Oh it is still that on Tuesdays."  I don't know what he meant by that.
 
 “These kids need to know that having an alcoholic parent doesn’t mean they are predetermined to perform a one-man show,” University of Virginia psychologist Harriet Courtly said. “They have a choice. They can engage in this embarrassing, hurtful behavior, or they can drink themselves to death and keep it to themselves like everyone else.”  - THE ONION
 
WEBSITE:  https://www.squeezemycans.com/ 
IS THE SHOW COMING TO YOUR AREA?   https://www.squeezemycans.com/dates