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SCIENTOLOGY SINGS!
It's not the "Book of Mormon" but it will have to do ...

tom cruise shirtless rock of ages singingScientologists have no sense of humor. They can't do comedy. The concept of "irony" is lost on them. But they can still do musicals. And musicals they do.  Some of the songs that their writers have put together are incredibly hummable. I go to sleep singing "Happy Birthday to you Ron" in my mind. Do you believe me? Am I insane?  Not as insane as some of these folks. But most of their songs here have high "hummability factors."

But Scientology has no "Mormon Tabernacle Choir" around to make music and impress the world with their huge groups of talented singers. And don't look for known singers like Beck, John Travolta or even Tom Cruise in most of these videos. They were produced more to stroke the egos of the pseudo-celebrities who star in them. Then they are played and replayed at fundraisers and other events to reinforce their message.  Scientology has become a closed group and these videos are not recruiting tools. They are designed to placate the people already inside the bubble.

Many of these videos are on YouTube under Scientology accounts but they are hidden from the viewing public. You need the link to see them because the cult knows if they post them openly the vids will be used against them. So I (and other protesters) take the time to re-post them in an open forum for your enjoyment.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU RON (L. RON HUBBARD)

l. ron hubbard headshotHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  VERY HIGH
Scientologists sing their version of "Happy Birthday" to deceased founder L. Ron Hubbard (left) on March 13, 2012. On this day in 1911, Lafayette Ronald Hubbard was born in Tilden, Nebraska. This celebration was recorded in Scientology Mecca Clearwater, Florida (FLAG Land Base). I believe the lead singer is an Australian woman born into the cult (aka a totally imprinted and mindfucked Scilon who cannot be reasoned with).
 

WE ARE THE IAS (INTERNATIONAL ASS. OF SCIENTOLOGISTS)

international association of scientologistsHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  HIGH 
A song about the International Association of Scientologists (IAS) starring Jazz great Chick Corea, rapper Chill E. B. and the right Reverend Alfreddie Johnson. It was meant to be shown to other Scientologists and to stroke the egos of the singers involved to thank them for their donations of time and money. The medals and awards you see some of the singers wearing indicate just how much they donated.

The Scientologists celebrated the 28th Anniversary of the IAS here in Los Angeles at the Shrine Auditorium this Nov 4, 2012.
 

INGLEWOOD IDEAL ORG GRAND OPENING MUSICAL NUMBER

scientology inglewood community center HUMMABILITY FACTOR:  STOLEN MUSIC
2011:
Scientology hires a bunch of Black people to entertain the White crowd as Caucasian great leader L. Ron Hubbard watches the opening of the Inglewood, CA Ideal Org. Inglewood is a predominantly Black neighborhood of Los Angeles..

After only sixty years the cult has discovered African Americans because it has run out of White people to steal money from.

When these Ideal Org opening numbers begin the cops tell protesters to stop screaming about injustice because they would be interrupting a "religious ceremony" - illegal in California due to an obscure law. Does this ceremony strike you as "religious?" The system says "Yes." For the few minutes this thing goes on. Then the Ideal Org opens and nobody comes in ever again. Cops say "Hey everything is peaceful now!." And they are right.

NOTE: I did not take this video. I would never have been allowed on the property. It was uploaded by a bystander and I stabilized and sharpened it for use on my website. The bystander wanted to promote the singers who were hired. I made sure it does not work out that way.

The shocking thing is that the Black rapper singing at 5:05 in the video mentions the "Fifth of November the day we will always remember." Why is he clearly referencing Guy Fawkes Day the only holiday of Anonymous? Sounds like he didn't like the gig and wanted to mock it.
 

KIRSTIE ALLEY'S ORGANIC LIASON PROMO ANIMATION

singer songwriter carlos bertonatti headshot bw HUMMABILITY FACTOR:  VERY HIGH
Promotional animation for Kirstie Alley's new weight loss drink "Organic Liaison." Check it out at OrganicLiaison.com . The song was written by handsome hunk Carlos Bertonatti (left).

The animation is well done for what it is. I'm an Emmy award winning Hollywood animator so what I say about animation means something.

Meanwhile in 2012 Kirstie is being sued because people say her weight loss product doesn't work. Entitled spoiled brat Bertonatti is facing manslaughter charges in Florida for allegedly running over a bicyclist and fleeing the scene while drunk driving. This is the kind of rich, spoiled, drunken person Kirstie Alley associates with.
 

HISPANIC SCIENTOLOGISTS SING AT WINTER WONDERLAND 2009

santas invade scientology winter wonderland hollywood HUMMABILITY FACTOR:  VERY LOW
A collection of musical talent (some more talented than others) offered by the cult of Scientology in it's 2009  Winter Wonderland. That area of Hollywood Boulevard is erected most holiday seasons as a way to lure Hispanics (and especially their children, which Latins tend to have lots of). Scientology has run out of White people to steal money from. As recorded by the Angry Gay Pope Christmas 2009. Giving these Hispanic singers an audience was a way to stroke their ego and reward them for their donations of time and money.
 

I THINK YOU MIGHT LIKE IT

john travolta olivia newton john christmas albumHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  MEDIUM
DECEMBER 2012:
  John Travolta and Olivia Newton John have gotten together to release a Christmas album whose proceeds go to charity.  Olivia had cancer and has a cancer center in Australia.  Travolta is giving his proceeds to his own Jett Travolta Foundation. Like all Scientology charities it is a scam. It shares the same PO box he uses for his fan mail and it has raised little money. And why should it? Who would give to an anti-autism charity when Travolta doesn't believe in autism to begin with? Indeed some of the money went to Scientology front group Narconon.  And the foundation's website never mentions how much it donated to each group.  At least Olivia's money will go to helping others.

Meanwhile the rest of the world is mocking the cheap, cheesy promo video they made for the one new song on the album, John Farrar's "I think you might like it."  Farrar has written some of Olivia's biggest hits. This will probably not be one of them. What is wrong with this video?  I don't need to list them because somebody else already did!

Like all great Christmas movies, the video was shot in snowless Ocala Florida. The location?  "Jumbolair," Travolta's house which is part of an airport so he can park his jet on a driveway next to his home as if it were a car. I'm sure we can all relate to this super-rich 1 percenter and his excitement over finally getting back to his mansion and parking his plane. Then he sings a song about "making love all night" with Olivia while his wife Scientologist Kelly Preston is at the airport with the kids.
 

SANTA HOMIE BY CHILL E.B.

john travolta olivia newton john christmas albumHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  MEDIUM
DECEMBER 2016:
  Black Scientologists are as common as eyebrows on an egg. Rapper Chill E.B. (shown at left with fellow cultist and jazz bassist Stanley Clarke) surrounds himself with fake Florida snow and sings "Santa Homie." Recorded at the Clearwater Florida L. Ron Hubbard Winter Wonderland, the video gives a good look at the large Christmas display the cult erects every year. Much bigger and more elaborate than their one on Hollywood Boulevard. The Church uses the Christmas village to try to attract new members, especially Latin children. It never works.

Chill E.B. is about all the Cult can do as far as celebrities go any more. You can see how they pull out all the stops to help their celebs create entertainment. This makes Chill E.B. feel special, promotes the Winter Wonderland, and is partial payback for the vast amounts of money Chill E.B. has no doubt given them over the years.

CHILL E.B. YOUTUBE CHANNEL: http://www.youtube.com/user/EBChill

Chill E.B. has only gotten 242 views in an entire WEEK though. My channel is hardly busy but I could do that in a DAY.
 

DAUNTLESS, DEFIANT AND RESOLUTE

chill eb scientologist dauntless defiant and resolute HUMMABILITY FACTOR:  MEDIUM
Black singer Chill E.B. raps off camera about Scientology while a large number of White people lip sync. This internal promotional video was not really meant to be seen by the outside world. The IAS is the International Ass. of Scientologists.  "Dauntless, Defiant and Resolute" is a Scientology slogan about the IAS organization.
 

WE STAND TALL - 2010 VERSION

we stand tall 2010 musical number shrine auditoriumHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  HIGH
The Church of Scientology shows why it has made it in Hollywood for so long with this elaborate production number worthy of an Oscar telecast. From the 2009-2010 New Year celebration at the Shrine Auditorium. The very same room the Academy of Motion Pictures recorded so many Oscar telecasts.

Featuring a large supporting cast of non-Whites hired especially for the occasion.

This is a re-make of a previous video made years earlier. That original version of the song can be heard below.

WE STAND TALL - ORIGINAL VERSION

 david miscavigeHUMMABILITY FACTOR:  MEDIUM
"We Stand Tall" is an internal Scientology music video from 1990. The video's morale boosting song is reminiscent of the eighties charity single "We are the World," and the Scientology leadership, including long time leader David Miscavige, is seen singing the chorus in unison. The video also includes footage of the Religious Freedom Crusade, a 1985 pro-Scientology protest spurred by a 39 million dollar fraud verdict against the organization.

Many have commented on the irony of David Miscavige being so short, so Napoleonesque, yet he commissioned a song about being tall.

Other Scientologists seen in the video include Mike Rinder and Marty Rathbun. See below for their horrible, horrible fates in the years after this production was recorded.

scientology, missing persons, we stand tall, the hole, golden era productions
 
SHOULDER TO SHOULDER - BEATING THE IRS

 HUMMABILITY FACTOR:  HIGH
RARE VIDEO: The Church wants it deleted!

Music breaks out at the 1993 announcement of the Church of Scientology's victory over the Internal Revenue Service. The IRS battle had cost the Church millions so no expense was spared on this celebration, which includes this musical number "Nothing's gonna stop us now!".

But the added titles tell the real story. The Church has been in decline ever since and this was, in reality, their finest moment!